


in the night (eyes, shattering)

by maplewix (orphan_account)



Series: best of dailysamifer [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Hallucinations, Isolation, Lucifer's Cage, Lucifer's True Form, Other, Sam Winchester and Mental Health Issues, Sensory Deprivation, happy ending sorta i promise!!!, luci 300 percent does not torture sam, sam/luci cuddles, warning: self harm for sensory reasons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-24
Updated: 2014-06-24
Packaged: 2018-02-05 23:52:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1836733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/maplewix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam awoke in darkness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	in the night (eyes, shattering)

Sam awoke in darkness. 

There was nothing about him, no light, no sound. He tried to extend a hand out to feel around him and found nothing but air. He tried to touch his own face to orient himself but he couldn’t feel anything. 

"Dean!" he called out. His voice fell away into silence almost instantly. "Hello?" 

No sound returned, only an eerie silence. Sam felt simultaneously very alone and as though he were surrounded by invisible judges. 

"Hello," he said again, but this time knew better than to expect a response. He struck out blindly, trying to move, and found that he could flail forward a few inches. It was like swimming in empty space. 

His memory was coming back now. There had been a long fall into deeper and deeper darkness, a voice repeated  _don’t let go_  over and over again, a searing pain as though he were being ripped it two, and then nothing. 

He swam forward a few more inches, unable to keep from flinching, expected to find something solid at any moment. There was nothing. 

A scream erupted from somewhere to his left, and Sam turned towards it, blindly, desperately. “Who’s there?” he called out, but there was no response. 

The scream cut short the same way his words had been: as if the air was consuming them whole directly from his vocal cords. 

He remembered now. He was in Lucifer’s Cage. 

Sam shuddered. There were eyes following him in the dark, leaving prickling feelings along his skin. He tried to ignore them and struck out towards where he had heard the scream come from. 

It felt like hours passed, but Sam had had success. There were lights and shapes in the darkness, appearing and disappearing at random intervals. Sometimes he thought someone might be calling out to him, but when he turned to follow the sound he only became more lost. He swam determinedly after a splash of stars—

"Fuck!" he yelped. He’d run smack into something that sent spirals of agony through him. He reached out a tentative hand and the shock came again. He’d found a wall. 

"Sam!" 

He turned at the sound of Dean’s voice, accidentally sending another round of pain through his leg, but couldn’t see anything beyond faint twisting things in the distance. He shoved off the wall, enduring the pain, and tried to head in that direction. 

It wasn’t until Jessica’s corpse loomed out of the darkness that he put the pieces together. 

He was hallucinating, he thought, staring at the congealed blood on her nightgown. She smiled at him and extended a hand. Sam thought he could even feel the brush of her fingers. 

He looked away, but he could see flashes of her in the corner of his eye still. 

"It’s not real," he told himself. "She’s dead, she’s not here, this isn’t real." 

Only it might as well have been. 

He tried to close his eyes but there was no change in the ever-present darkness. 

"Adam?" he called desperately. "Are you there?" 

No response beyond the whisperings in his ears. He pressed his hand to his head, and oh, there, he could feel that a little bit. The faint dull pressure of his hand was a welcome relief from the nothingness. He pressed harder until he could pretend that he wasn’t alone. 

Adam and the two angels were here somewhere, whether Sam could see them or not. He had heard that first scream long before the hallucinations had begun. He would find them. 

An indeterminable amount of time later, Sam could be found curled into a ball at the base of the Cage, pressing his hands against himself until phantom shivers crawled up his spine. How could a massive, trueform angel hide in a fairly small space? How could  _two_  of them hide? 

It was Lucifer who found him what would have been three days later if time had any rational sense in the Cage. Sam had no warning before he was enveloped in light. 

He cried out — too bright, too bright — and closed his eyes. Every touch to his skin was like a stab wound, so oversensitized as he was by days of nearly no contact. 

"Sam," Lucifer whispered. Sam curled up smaller, shaking with shock and tears. "I’m so sorry." 

Sam pressed his face into something cool and soft, shaking with each touch but desperate for it at the same time. Lucifer crooned to him softly, running  brushes of feathers and fingertips and fur across his back, quiet and comforting and exuding love until finally, finally Sam relaxed enough to open his eyes. 

"Thank you," were the first words he managed to get out. 

Lucifer was as gentle as he had been all along. “I’m very proud of you,” he said. “You were stronger than I had given you credit for.” A touch almost like a kiss brushed his forehead. 

"How did you stand it?" Sam choked out. 

Lucifer’s touches grew sad. “I didn’t,” he said quietly. “The only thing I had was the knowledge that you would come for me. I’m afraid that I lost track of much of who I used to be.” 

Sam nodded and pressed closer. “Is it okay if we stay together, then?” he asked carefully. 

"I would never deny you anything," Lucifer promised, and held him close as they drifted through the darkness. 


End file.
